Rough Week

Drama Warning!
I imagine most of you who frequent my pages, or I frequent yours have noticed I've been a little off. I need to vent and unfortunately for you your it, as most of my family is already involved in this; and I'm usually the shoulder to cry on for them anyways as such I've got nobody.
It's been a rough week, I'm used to my childhood friends all becoming old and dieing around me. I have never been understood by my those my age, so my friends have always been those either much older, or much younger then I. This week has been particularly hard though because of who it is...
I got a phone call last week telling me that one of my good friends, who is also the mother of my good friend wont last longer then the end of the month. She has had cancer for 3 years now, and I've know from the first before we knew it was cancer that she wouldn't survive it. What makes hard is what this family has been through; they had a son run over one of the daughters, by accident, right in front of the entire family she died; and then three weeks later the family all witnessed the father die from a heart attack. Now they have watched their mother die as well.
I don't pretend to be nearly was wise as God, but sometimes I really am left wondering why events are allowed to happen... events that are not taking away the will of others. It isn't helping most in this family already gave up on God, and the last of the believers is dieing in front of her family.
The only solace I have is that I know without a doubt she will be with her husband and daughter in the life after. It is my peace in this time of turmoil.

I have known this women for most of my life, she was the first person to the hospital when I was involved in a very serious accident (I'll go into that later), and I've gotten to know her well over the years. She always treated me like a son and for that I've been grateful.

Then today I came into work to find out that one of our former drivers, that most of the office staff has known, killed his wife and 2 children and then took his own life. I used to work with this man... I called him friend. Sometimes I really wonder what good I do in the world when these events happen caused by people I called friends.

Then tomorrow is the 11th anniversary of the accident to which I was involved in. Life flight, and all! I don't sleep during this time of year already, Nightmares where I see the entire accident played out as if I was standing on the roadside watching.

Its just to much to handle sometimes, everything all at once. You feel like you have to be strong for the people who depend on you to be strong and you just want to crawl into a hole and disappear.

I really don't know how much of this I'm going to leave up, but we'll see! Mostly I just needed to vent. Thanks!